Today is a day we wish we could re-do. We had a wonderful leisurely morning and then something set Chen Qian off and she bawled for 30 minutes straight and could not be consoled. We finally got her calmed down in time to check out of the hotel and have lunch at McDonalds. She spent about an hour with other kids and seemed to be doing fine again.
At 2:00 our guide picked us up and drove us to the Police Station to pick up the passport that was started at the Police Station in Qingdao. You can see where this is going, right? No passport. The chief in Qingdao had to sign off on it and he did not yet. In the meantime the head of the orphanage in Qingdao drove to the Police Station to talk to the Chief, but it was too late to get it processed before our flight to Guangzhou at 5:30. The passport, however would be ready at 5:00 - not very helpful as we need it for Monday. It will cost and extra $300 Yuan to get us the document by the time we need it next week. But wait, it gets better. While I am in the station figuring out what to do, Chen Qian loses it with Char, throws the mother of all tantrum and has Char in a state, because she is again "eagerly looking for her Mama" and being physically abusive to Char. For most people that would be enough. But wait, there is more.
This is China. We get to the airport at 4:30 to get out 5:50 flight and there is no such flight. The same numbered flight we were looking for left minutes prior to our arrival. Yeah - they changed the time and no one bothered to call and check and let us know. So, after a bit of haggling, we got on the 6:30 flight with Shen Zhen Air and were on our way and arrived at 8:40 and at 9:30 in the hotel with a very tired baby. Did we tell you this was Chen Qian's first flight? How do you think that went? Yeah, about like that.
Chen Qina and Char are friends again and she is the same smiley baby, so I am not sure what all the fussing was about today. Char is again Mama and I am Baba. Hopefully, that was end of the grieving, but keep on praying for us. Next week will be a hell of a ride home if she doesn't want to clear her ears again. Hoping tomorrow in Canton will e a good day.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Going Well!
Qingdao is a beautiful city. It reminds me a bit of San Francisco. I am sure we will be going there again on holiday in the future, so we better learn to like it. Chen Qian is doing so well. She uses chop sticks like a pro. She can eat a bowl of noodles and rice without spilling anything. And it is hilarious to see her pick up a whole shrimp, rip off its head and peel the tail in seconds flat. She will fit right in with the rest of my shrimp eaters at home. According to our guide, she has a very strong local dialect and accent (even he can't always understand her). The word for shrimp is "sha", but she pronounces it "saw". So, we don't always understand each other, but my Chinese is coming back and I am doing quite well. We can communicate with each other very well - it is pretty cool. Char is even learning some Chinese. She is getting very good at understanding when Chen Qian has to go potty - which literally seems like every 30 minutes. We think she just likes to go to the bathroom. Althought Charlotte is getting quite tired of dealing with squatty potties!
There has been no crying for 2 whole days. She is not "eagerly looking for my mama" anymore (which really cuts down on the questioning stares from people around us)! She readily calls for Charlotte as "Mama" and me as "Baba" Frequently we hear "gaga, Mama" or "gaga, Baba" - which means, "look" or "watch what I am doing". She has bonded with us so well, which can be a real concern with toddlers. And, she has no interest in going with other people, which can also be a concern regarding attachment issues. She will always take Char's hand and not let her out of her sight. She will sometimes take my hand, but I am never allowed to put her on my shoulders, that honor is reserved for Charlotte alone. I'd like to help out, but I have not yet earned that right. Not sure if I ever will. She is Mama's girlie.
We are a bit tired of getting scolded by all the Chinese "grandmas" on the street that we don't have her dressed warmly enough. Last night we were waiting on the sidewalk for our guide to bring the van around and were soon surrounded by not less than 5-6 women who all wanted to know if we were "mama" and "baba". One grandma told Chen to put up her hood, which she obiedently did (she already had a hat on). We think they were also trying to tell us that we should have more than just one set of pants on her (they would have probably put her in snowpants as well). At one point we think they were asking her if she wanted to go home with them -- but she said no, she wanted to stay with us. I have to say I was thankful when the van arrived.
Chen Qian is so clever and cute and beautiful and funny. I am not sure how we could be so lucky to have been given Chen Qian. The director from the orphanage said she thinks Chen Qian and I look alike, which means we had some connection in a prior life. We agreed that this was meant to be. As well as things are going, this was God's plan for all of us, even before we knew it.
So, thanks to all for your continued prayers for continued bonding and safety of travel. Tomorrow we go to Guangzhou for the rest of our time. Here we finish up paperwork with the US consulate, health checks etc before we leave for home next Saturday. She has a nasty cough, so please pray that she does not have TB and that it is just a cold. We might have to stay two more weeks if she does.
Send us a note - we would love to hear from you!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Off to Qingdao
We had a pretty good night, although Char and I are still on USA time and wake up at 3:00 and cannot go back to sleep. Chen Qian seems to be sleeping fine - except for the alligator death roll, which prevents Char from getting a good night sleep.
We left Jinan and headed to Qingdao for an overnight trip. This is the city where the orphanage is located that Chen Qian was associated with. It is beautiful. It is right on the coast, with many famous (everything here seems to be famous) parks and attractions.
Each day is a bit better. We have not parented a 3 year old for some time, so we are out of practice. Books, beads and Iphone do not cut it. She tends to get bored quickly and then weepy and then cry for de Mama - my Mama, which causes other around us to wonder if we really should have this child - fortunately, they don't count, but we still feel like bad parents. But, today Chen Qian seemed to hold it together for all but 30 minutes of the 2 1/2 hour train ride. Small progress -maybe tomorrow the whole day will be fine.
We completed to paperwork for her VISA at the police station and it will be ready in Jinan on Thursday. After that was done we visited an orphanage Chen Qian had lived at soon after she returned home from the hospital. It is a beautiful place, high up in the city next to the Shandong University (it is very famous). we meet the director, who gave us many gifts for Chen Qian to remember them by. We then handed out gifts to the director and some to the children and spent time playing with them and receiving a tour of the orphanage. It is well maintained and it is very evident the children are well loved and did not seem at all like a typical orphanage. We even met a couple of staff who cared for Chen Qian when she lived there. It was a very moving experience.
After that we were invited to dinner with the director, assistant director, provincial official and three staff members of the orphanage. We went to the Red Dragonfish restaurant, which, wait for it....is very famous. It did have delicious food in the style of Shandong - lots of seafood. Very fresh and tasty. We could see what they had available in huge tanks as we entered the restaurant, so you know it was fresh! This was the first time this orphanage invited the parents to dinner and we all had a great time. As you know, I cry at the end of Star Wars, so it was difficult for me to get through. The director wanted us to know how grateful they are that we are taking Chen Qian to be part of a loving family and how much they enjoy caring for children who need a family. We took this opportunity to explain that the Bible has several passage that deal with caring for orphans and doing good things in the name of Christ. One of th staff then, quietly, told Char she was a believer - it was good to connect with her over this shared goal.
It is the end to a long day. We know many of you are keeping us in your prayers. We are also thinking of the other family, the Wursters, who traveled with us in Beijing, but are now in Sichuan picking up their little guy and hoping all is going well for them too.
We left Jinan and headed to Qingdao for an overnight trip. This is the city where the orphanage is located that Chen Qian was associated with. It is beautiful. It is right on the coast, with many famous (everything here seems to be famous) parks and attractions.
Each day is a bit better. We have not parented a 3 year old for some time, so we are out of practice. Books, beads and Iphone do not cut it. She tends to get bored quickly and then weepy and then cry for de Mama - my Mama, which causes other around us to wonder if we really should have this child - fortunately, they don't count, but we still feel like bad parents. But, today Chen Qian seemed to hold it together for all but 30 minutes of the 2 1/2 hour train ride. Small progress -maybe tomorrow the whole day will be fine.
We completed to paperwork for her VISA at the police station and it will be ready in Jinan on Thursday. After that was done we visited an orphanage Chen Qian had lived at soon after she returned home from the hospital. It is a beautiful place, high up in the city next to the Shandong University (it is very famous). we meet the director, who gave us many gifts for Chen Qian to remember them by. We then handed out gifts to the director and some to the children and spent time playing with them and receiving a tour of the orphanage. It is well maintained and it is very evident the children are well loved and did not seem at all like a typical orphanage. We even met a couple of staff who cared for Chen Qian when she lived there. It was a very moving experience.
After that we were invited to dinner with the director, assistant director, provincial official and three staff members of the orphanage. We went to the Red Dragonfish restaurant, which, wait for it....is very famous. It did have delicious food in the style of Shandong - lots of seafood. Very fresh and tasty. We could see what they had available in huge tanks as we entered the restaurant, so you know it was fresh! This was the first time this orphanage invited the parents to dinner and we all had a great time. As you know, I cry at the end of Star Wars, so it was difficult for me to get through. The director wanted us to know how grateful they are that we are taking Chen Qian to be part of a loving family and how much they enjoy caring for children who need a family. We took this opportunity to explain that the Bible has several passage that deal with caring for orphans and doing good things in the name of Christ. One of th staff then, quietly, told Char she was a believer - it was good to connect with her over this shared goal.
It is the end to a long day. We know many of you are keeping us in your prayers. We are also thinking of the other family, the Wursters, who traveled with us in Beijing, but are now in Sichuan picking up their little guy and hoping all is going well for them too.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
An Inauspicious Beginning
Yesterday morning we toured the Forbidden City - along with most of the other Chinese tourists who were in town for the weekend.
In the afternoon we took a quick flight down to Jinan. The plan was to go to the hotel and have Chen Qian brought to us there at 4:30. As is often the case things don't go as planned. Our guide picked us up and informed us that because the photo studio closed soon, they were going to bring Chen Qian to the photo studio for our pictures and then we would go over to the hotel. That is about the last place I wanted to meet our new daughter! She walked in and looked at us like we were from the moon. Then she had to pose for a picture while the ladies from the orphanage (who didn't speak English) kept telling her that we were her mother and father -- and she just stared at them with a confused expression. It continued to get better from there as we were told that the orphanage person would come over to our hotel to go over a few things, but that we were supposed to take Chen Qian with us -- much to her dismay. We took her to the car, as she was screaming and crying the whole way -- yelling that she was looking for her mother and father. Of course, just a few people on the street were a little curious as to what was going on.
Steve had to hold a wiggling screaming child while I tried to check into the hotel without crying! It was so sad to see how much she knew what was happening and didn't like it one bit. Once we got into the hotel room we were able to get the bags open and started pulling out the toys we had brought for her. Meanwhile, we needed to sign forms and try to get information about her schedule and likes and dislikes. It soon became obvious that the only information we were going to get is what they had written down (which our guide translated - in short version style). The lady from the orphanage didn't seem to have any idea for a majority of my questions. Hopefully we will get more information tomorrow when we visit the orphanage.
When everyone left we were finally able to get Chen Qian calmed down and we had a great evening playing with toys. The beads were a huge hit and she spent quite a bit of time threading them on the string to make a beautiful necklace. We were a bit nervous about bedtime, but she ate some soup for supper in the hotel room, enjoyed a fun bath, and went immediately to sleep with a little Chinese Lullabies music.
After a restless night of sleep (which meant very little sleep for Mom) she woke up slowly and was as happy as could be. We went down for a great breakfast and then met our guide to begin our day of appointments with governmental officials to complete the adoption.
This process was EXTREMELY stressful for Chen Qian!! She didn't really understand what was going on, but she knew that she was once again being taken to strange places. Once again she started looking around and yelling that she was looking for her Mom & Dad. I had to keep telling myself that this was good because it meant that she had attached to her foster parents and could eventually attach to us. Unfortunately, it didn't make it any easier to see her in such confusion and anguish. Her foster parents had given her a Buddah necklace when she left -- and she frequently hunts for it until she finds it and just walks around hanging on to it and talking to herself.
We have found that the hotel room is a safe place, once we are alone with her she again becomes a happy playful little girl who calls us MaMa & BaBa (Chinese for Mom & Dad). This afternoon we have holed ourselves up and spent the time coloring, throwing the blowup ball and stacking cups. We briefly tried to take her swimming, but it was soon obvious that while she likes baths, swimming pools are another thing altogether. One thing that went very was going through Chen Qian's new clothes. Charlotte has her girlie girl now. Char and Chen Qian spent quite a bit of time going through her stuff and she seems to be very happy with her new clothes - I guess little girls all over the world are the same.
Tomorrow we are off early to take a train to Qingdao. We need to apply for her passport there, and we are also going to visit the orphanage. Hopefully this will go better than the last couple days have gone when we have been outside of the hotel! Please pray for Chen Qian as she goes through this difficult transition, and pray for us that we have the strength to help her!
In the afternoon we took a quick flight down to Jinan. The plan was to go to the hotel and have Chen Qian brought to us there at 4:30. As is often the case things don't go as planned. Our guide picked us up and informed us that because the photo studio closed soon, they were going to bring Chen Qian to the photo studio for our pictures and then we would go over to the hotel. That is about the last place I wanted to meet our new daughter! She walked in and looked at us like we were from the moon. Then she had to pose for a picture while the ladies from the orphanage (who didn't speak English) kept telling her that we were her mother and father -- and she just stared at them with a confused expression. It continued to get better from there as we were told that the orphanage person would come over to our hotel to go over a few things, but that we were supposed to take Chen Qian with us -- much to her dismay. We took her to the car, as she was screaming and crying the whole way -- yelling that she was looking for her mother and father. Of course, just a few people on the street were a little curious as to what was going on.
Steve had to hold a wiggling screaming child while I tried to check into the hotel without crying! It was so sad to see how much she knew what was happening and didn't like it one bit. Once we got into the hotel room we were able to get the bags open and started pulling out the toys we had brought for her. Meanwhile, we needed to sign forms and try to get information about her schedule and likes and dislikes. It soon became obvious that the only information we were going to get is what they had written down (which our guide translated - in short version style). The lady from the orphanage didn't seem to have any idea for a majority of my questions. Hopefully we will get more information tomorrow when we visit the orphanage.
When everyone left we were finally able to get Chen Qian calmed down and we had a great evening playing with toys. The beads were a huge hit and she spent quite a bit of time threading them on the string to make a beautiful necklace. We were a bit nervous about bedtime, but she ate some soup for supper in the hotel room, enjoyed a fun bath, and went immediately to sleep with a little Chinese Lullabies music.
After a restless night of sleep (which meant very little sleep for Mom) she woke up slowly and was as happy as could be. We went down for a great breakfast and then met our guide to begin our day of appointments with governmental officials to complete the adoption.
This process was EXTREMELY stressful for Chen Qian!! She didn't really understand what was going on, but she knew that she was once again being taken to strange places. Once again she started looking around and yelling that she was looking for her Mom & Dad. I had to keep telling myself that this was good because it meant that she had attached to her foster parents and could eventually attach to us. Unfortunately, it didn't make it any easier to see her in such confusion and anguish. Her foster parents had given her a Buddah necklace when she left -- and she frequently hunts for it until she finds it and just walks around hanging on to it and talking to herself.
We have found that the hotel room is a safe place, once we are alone with her she again becomes a happy playful little girl who calls us MaMa & BaBa (Chinese for Mom & Dad). This afternoon we have holed ourselves up and spent the time coloring, throwing the blowup ball and stacking cups. We briefly tried to take her swimming, but it was soon obvious that while she likes baths, swimming pools are another thing altogether. One thing that went very was going through Chen Qian's new clothes. Charlotte has her girlie girl now. Char and Chen Qian spent quite a bit of time going through her stuff and she seems to be very happy with her new clothes - I guess little girls all over the world are the same.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Whirlwind Tour of Beijing
Saturday was a busy fun-filled day consisting of lots of sightseeing, shopping and great food. We started with a big English breakfast (the idea of Chinese "gruel" just doesn't cut it for breakfast). We spent the morning stopping at the Jade factory which included a museum and demonstration of how jade is carved. Then we were off to the Great Wall of China.
The section that we visited is in a beautiful rugged mountain area. It is a little difficult to imagine how the mongal hords on horseback could have gotten through the mountain area -- but if they did, the wall was there as another line of defense. The stones are incredibly worn and the steps very deep and uneven-- thank goodness they have installed handrails! I can't imagine the difficulties faced in trying to build this structure in such a rugged and steep area. They say that 4 million people were sent to this area to build the wall and all of them died.
After this we had a great lunch of... wait for it..... CHINESES FOOD! It is really a good thing that both Steve and I enjoy trying new foods. I did pass on the tofu which was supposed to be spicy -- although Steve said it wasn't. Then we headed of to the Summer Palace. When it was built, it was well outside the city. Now, it is simply a suburb. There is an artifical lake, and there was so much earth moved that a temple now sits atop the pile - way, way up there. The Palace covers 300 acres and is beautiful, but reminds us of the opulance that was the downfall to the Ming Dynasty.
We then headed of to the pearl market - run by the gfovernment, because the government has no reason to cheat people, as opposed to private business people who are incentavised to cheat....makes perfect sense. Not! Then off to the silk museum and shop. It was a very good tour of how silk is made. Then we did a bit of light shopping (pun intended).
Dinner was at Beijin Roast Duck, established in 1864 and the one restaurant you must eat at in China. Steve enjoyed his meal, but will always compare every duck from now on to a Quanjude duck. We sat in a beautiful room where thre duck was served in front of us, around a big round table - it was an experience!
Off to bed, pack early, flight to Jinan and then we meat Chen Qian (the proper name for us to call her)! We will have a little girl in 12 hours!
The section that we visited is in a beautiful rugged mountain area. It is a little difficult to imagine how the mongal hords on horseback could have gotten through the mountain area -- but if they did, the wall was there as another line of defense. The stones are incredibly worn and the steps very deep and uneven-- thank goodness they have installed handrails! I can't imagine the difficulties faced in trying to build this structure in such a rugged and steep area. They say that 4 million people were sent to this area to build the wall and all of them died.
After this we had a great lunch of... wait for it..... CHINESES FOOD! It is really a good thing that both Steve and I enjoy trying new foods. I did pass on the tofu which was supposed to be spicy -- although Steve said it wasn't. Then we headed of to the Summer Palace. When it was built, it was well outside the city. Now, it is simply a suburb. There is an artifical lake, and there was so much earth moved that a temple now sits atop the pile - way, way up there. The Palace covers 300 acres and is beautiful, but reminds us of the opulance that was the downfall to the Ming Dynasty.
We then headed of to the pearl market - run by the gfovernment, because the government has no reason to cheat people, as opposed to private business people who are incentavised to cheat....makes perfect sense. Not! Then off to the silk museum and shop. It was a very good tour of how silk is made. Then we did a bit of light shopping (pun intended).
Dinner was at Beijin Roast Duck, established in 1864 and the one restaurant you must eat at in China. Steve enjoyed his meal, but will always compare every duck from now on to a Quanjude duck. We sat in a beautiful room where thre duck was served in front of us, around a big round table - it was an experience!
Off to bed, pack early, flight to Jinan and then we meat Chen Qian (the proper name for us to call her)! We will have a little girl in 12 hours!
Friday, November 26, 2010
Beijing
Well, after a full 24 hours of travel we have arrived in China! Neither of us could sleep Wednesday night, so it was great to relax on both legs of the trip. The flights we great and we arrived fully refreshed. (Steve even said he is looking forward to the flights home!) God really was watching out for us and making sure that the flights were smooth and uneventful.
We met our Welcome House contact, Mrs. Li at the airport. After checking into the Beijing Hotel, we walked to her favorite restauarant for dinner at 8:30 pm local time. We had a wonderful meal for $8 per person. We were so tired from our travels that we went directly to bed and slept soundly in spite of the extremely hard mattresses!
Bejing is much different than when I (Steve) was here last. It is all new with lots of cars and (cough, cough) polution like you would not believe. As we flew into Beijing, the clouds literally turned brown. Our eyes both feel the strain. Thankfully we are heading out of the city today.
We head north today to climb the Great Wall and visit the Summer Palace. I think this is a great way to understand some of Qian Xiao's culture.
I do not think I really had time to process the fact that we were going to China, but it feels good to be here. Things really do not feel all that different from home - either China has changed in the last 20 years or I have. Maybe a bit of both.
Less than 36 hours until we meet Qian Xiao! We are very excited to day is soon here!
We met our Welcome House contact, Mrs. Li at the airport. After checking into the Beijing Hotel, we walked to her favorite restauarant for dinner at 8:30 pm local time. We had a wonderful meal for $8 per person. We were so tired from our travels that we went directly to bed and slept soundly in spite of the extremely hard mattresses!
Bejing is much different than when I (Steve) was here last. It is all new with lots of cars and (cough, cough) polution like you would not believe. As we flew into Beijing, the clouds literally turned brown. Our eyes both feel the strain. Thankfully we are heading out of the city today.
We head north today to climb the Great Wall and visit the Summer Palace. I think this is a great way to understand some of Qian Xiao's culture.
I do not think I really had time to process the fact that we were going to China, but it feels good to be here. Things really do not feel all that different from home - either China has changed in the last 20 years or I have. Maybe a bit of both.
Less than 36 hours until we meet Qian Xiao! We are very excited to day is soon here!
Saturday, November 20, 2010
5 days to go!
People often wonder whats motivated us to adopt a little girl from China. There are a couple of things. I did my cross-cultural experience in China in 1989. Since then I have enjoyed learning about China and its history. I also learned at that time about the huge population of girls living in orphanages due to societal preference for male children. I thought at that time it would be wonderful to adopt one of these children. I remember sharing this dream with Charlotte soon after we were married - but I quickly forgot about it. It was not until 4 years ago that Charlotte reminded me of this dream and we began to work through the process of adopting.
In James 1:12 we are admonished to "care for widows and orphans". We cannot help everyone, but we know we can help one child. We were lucky to find Chen Qian Xaio. Hopefully, once she meets us she will feel the same way! We know our family will be enriched by bring Qian Xiao into our lives and we be a good family.
The boys are anticipating Qian Xiao's arrival - but are understandably nervous about having us gone for so long. I think there is a bit of fear that she will not immediately be enamoured with them, but we are talking about the fact that this new relationship between us will take time to grow and one day, all of a sudden, it will be there as if it always was.
We probably will not post any new items until we reach China, so pray for us for safe travel and that our first meeting with Qian Xiao go well.
In James 1:12 we are admonished to "care for widows and orphans". We cannot help everyone, but we know we can help one child. We were lucky to find Chen Qian Xaio. Hopefully, once she meets us she will feel the same way! We know our family will be enriched by bring Qian Xiao into our lives and we be a good family.
The boys are anticipating Qian Xiao's arrival - but are understandably nervous about having us gone for so long. I think there is a bit of fear that she will not immediately be enamoured with them, but we are talking about the fact that this new relationship between us will take time to grow and one day, all of a sudden, it will be there as if it always was.
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